Dave and devbot 4 - The Big Game!
I hope coach puts me in early this game, I've been really practicing my knuckle ball and I think it will throw our opponents for a loop.
-What Game? What are you even talking about? I thought you were still on that whole Stevenson thing?
Well unlike you dev, I have to worry about my spot on the team. Not all of us can be homerun clean up batters like you.
-Are you talking about baseball? what does baseball have to do with anything?
BASEBALL IS EVERYTHING TO ME! HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASK SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
-You've probably never even played baseball. Also you better keep it down, otherwise the warlocks will find us sooner.
---I've never seen you two around here before. Whats brings you to this nook of the woods?
Oh we're here for the game against moonbrook. Can you point me to the baseball field?
---Baseball? I dont think I've ever heard of that
-We're actually here to find the dreadlord in the area and take him out
---Holy crap, did that robot just talk to me?
Yah thats just dev. Hes actually the result of me ripping the soul out of a humans body and placing it inside a robot I built
-Thats not true, you just built me with a few pre-rendered replies to auditory ques. And since most people just remark about my ability to speak it was easy to program my responses to those questions.
(the human turns around slowly and runs)
Dev, you scared the guy off talking about how jet fuel can't melt steel beams. You know people dont like to hear the truth about our government.
-I said no such thing. Although it is a fact. Steel melts at 3000 degrees F and jet fuel can only burn up to a maximum of 2000 degrees F, but besides that fact theres a high chance that human went to notify the warlocks and dreadlord. I hope your prepared to fight a small army.
I've tried that dev, but coach thinks Chris is just a better pitcher and starts him over me. Not that I can blame him though, He has the quickest fast ball I've ever seen. I can't compete with that kind of power.
-You know, if your delusion was real, you'd probably be able to throw a ball faster than the speed of sound.
---Ahh, so you guys are the travelers in the area looking for the baseball field correct?
Yes thats us! Are you from the moonbrook team?
---Yes yes.. of course. The field is right over here, just follow me.
-I know you and frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid thats something I cannot allow to happen.
Oh hush up dev, no one cares about your opinions on the reptilian elite.
(warlock takes them to a warlock portal)
---Its right through this little door
-Dave this is obviously a trap, lets just kill her and go find the dreadlord
I'll never be able to start over Chris if I run now!
-Fine, since talking to you is not working, I'll do it myself
(robot fills up with blue power supply, glows larger and kills warlock while dave pretends to practice his pitch in the background)
I think I finally got my nuckleball down. I was thinking of trying a switch up this game to really show the coach what I'm capable of. You ready to go in this portal to the field dev?
-Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye
(dreadlord breaks into the place and throws dave and dev into the portal)
-Continued in part 5
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Dave and Devbot 3 - The Stevensons Presentation!
Dave and Devbot 3 - The Stevensons Presentation!
-setting(sitting in an office talking to wrathion)
(while walking to the office, talking to devbot)
I wonder what the boss has to say about my presentation. I hope we get the stevensons account
-What presentation? what account? we're headed to talk to wrathion about our next mission
Yah it will be ok. I did spend all night working on that presentation afterall
-Since you dont listen to what I say anyway, I'm switching my language function
--Walk into room and sit down with wrathion--
---(wrathion speaking) Good evening dave, my best co vert ops specialist. It seems you brought your little robot with you
-Konichi wa sensie. Den wa bango wa?
---I was under the impression that your little friend spoke the common tongue dave.
He does, he's just mad at me right now because I made him stay up late with me to work on the stevensons presentation
---The stevensons presentation? My you sure are the eccentric fellow. It seems the best workers usually are
-Eccentric is an understatement, Dave just has a few screws loose
---Ah, so you can speak the common tongue, and you even understand what I'm saying. That is most impressive
-I can't actually speak. I only give pre recorded replies to specific auditory ques. Plus this replay explaining how I function in the case that someone refers to my ability to seemingly talk
---Even if it is a trick it is most impressive. Now then, onto why I brought you two in here. It seems the dread lord that got away from the camp you took out a few weeks back has been spotted in (place) and is raising an army and has recruited a few warlocks. I've sent scouts into the area already but none have come back or gotten into contact with me. Its most strange that my rouges where found out so easily, this dreadlord must be especially intelligent.
That does sound bad boss, I dont think even my presentation will be able to convince stevenson, but I'll give it my best shot.
-Oh my god, shut up dave. He's not done talking
---Yes yes, anyway, I need you two to go into the area and find out whats going on, and if possible, kill the dreadlord. I was thinking about using some of my contacts from the alliance or horde to send in a small platoon but I'd rather not get them involved if I can avoid it.
You can count on me boss! Me and dev will get you that account or die trying!
-There is no account dave. The boss is sending us on a mission that should require a small army to handle. We might not make it out of this.
Oh dev, your such a negative nancy. Dont worry boss, even if dev doesn't think we can get the account you can count on me
---Good, I'm going to assume you understand your assignment since I hear this is how you've responded to all your other tasks and yet carried them out without a hitch. I'll need you to only fly to the borders of the town and walk in like normal. No need causing a huge commotion flying in in your dragon form right in the middle of things.
Sounds good boss, I'll make sure not to crash the company car.
-Why would we take a car when you can turn into a dragon? Plus most of the rodes on this planet arent even suitable for those goblin death traps.
Fine devbot! we can listen to your mix tape on the way there
... they walk out, pan to wrathion ....
(wrathions guard) are you sure you should send 'those two' on that mission?
(wrathion) Why of course. I could send those two into the heart of stormwind to kill the alliances king and they'd come back with souvenirs by the end of the day. I just hope they dont cause too much of a ruckus.
(wrathions gaurd) oh...
-setting(sitting in an office talking to wrathion)
(while walking to the office, talking to devbot)
I wonder what the boss has to say about my presentation. I hope we get the stevensons account
-What presentation? what account? we're headed to talk to wrathion about our next mission
Yah it will be ok. I did spend all night working on that presentation afterall
-Since you dont listen to what I say anyway, I'm switching my language function
--Walk into room and sit down with wrathion--
---(wrathion speaking) Good evening dave, my best co vert ops specialist. It seems you brought your little robot with you
-Konichi wa sensie. Den wa bango wa?
---I was under the impression that your little friend spoke the common tongue dave.
He does, he's just mad at me right now because I made him stay up late with me to work on the stevensons presentation
---The stevensons presentation? My you sure are the eccentric fellow. It seems the best workers usually are
-Eccentric is an understatement, Dave just has a few screws loose
---Ah, so you can speak the common tongue, and you even understand what I'm saying. That is most impressive
-I can't actually speak. I only give pre recorded replies to specific auditory ques. Plus this replay explaining how I function in the case that someone refers to my ability to seemingly talk
---Even if it is a trick it is most impressive. Now then, onto why I brought you two in here. It seems the dread lord that got away from the camp you took out a few weeks back has been spotted in (place) and is raising an army and has recruited a few warlocks. I've sent scouts into the area already but none have come back or gotten into contact with me. Its most strange that my rouges where found out so easily, this dreadlord must be especially intelligent.
That does sound bad boss, I dont think even my presentation will be able to convince stevenson, but I'll give it my best shot.
-Oh my god, shut up dave. He's not done talking
---Yes yes, anyway, I need you two to go into the area and find out whats going on, and if possible, kill the dreadlord. I was thinking about using some of my contacts from the alliance or horde to send in a small platoon but I'd rather not get them involved if I can avoid it.
You can count on me boss! Me and dev will get you that account or die trying!
-There is no account dave. The boss is sending us on a mission that should require a small army to handle. We might not make it out of this.
Oh dev, your such a negative nancy. Dont worry boss, even if dev doesn't think we can get the account you can count on me
---Good, I'm going to assume you understand your assignment since I hear this is how you've responded to all your other tasks and yet carried them out without a hitch. I'll need you to only fly to the borders of the town and walk in like normal. No need causing a huge commotion flying in in your dragon form right in the middle of things.
Sounds good boss, I'll make sure not to crash the company car.
-Why would we take a car when you can turn into a dragon? Plus most of the rodes on this planet arent even suitable for those goblin death traps.
Fine devbot! we can listen to your mix tape on the way there
... they walk out, pan to wrathion ....
(wrathions guard) are you sure you should send 'those two' on that mission?
(wrathion) Why of course. I could send those two into the heart of stormwind to kill the alliances king and they'd come back with souvenirs by the end of the day. I just hope they dont cause too much of a ruckus.
(wrathions gaurd) oh...
Dave and devbot 2, The big baking competition!
Dave and devbot 2, The big baking competition!
-(Setting: they're on a mission to take out a group of humans/scarlet crusade members.)
They're right over this hill devbot. Boy I sure am nervous about this baking competition.
-Its not a baking competition. Wrathion sent us to take out this camp quietly.
I know, but I've practice how to make the cake come out with just the right amount of puffyness. All you need to do is sift the flower before hand. Who'd have thought it was so simple!
-You've never made a meal in your life. How would you know how to bake?
quiet dev, one of the judges are here to welcome us
---Hey you two, who are you and why are you here?
We're here for the baking competition of course!
-There is no baking competition dave, You made that up.
---Omg, a talking robot and a taurren, Crap wrathions on to us...
*slash*(dave kills him quickly with his sword)
He seemed to be one of my competitors. Lets go see if everyone else has arrived yet.
:::Upon entering the camp they are surrounded:::
---So it seems wrathion found out about our little encampment. Your too late though, the dread lord is no longer here. Not that it matters, as you will be dead pretty soon anyway. Remember Men! theses two are extremely dangerous, but we have them outnumbered, so be careful as you take their heads
I dont know what your talking about dude, I'm just here for a baking contest, you have the wrong guy.
-Dave is right. Its not like Wrathion sent us here to take out this small camp and find information on the burning legions influence in this area.
---Holy crap, the robot really can talk. The rumors where true
-I cannot talk. I can only give pre-rendered replies to auditory ques. Including this reply to that statement.
---Dont let the robot confuse you, lets take them out!
*dave turns into a black dragon and burns all the soldiers to death*
Darn, its looks like we just missed the competition. I knew we shouldnt have stopped to recharge your batteries.
-We didnt stop dave, we flew strait here from the hideout.
Haha dev, you and your racist jokes
-I didnt tell a joke, you just ignore me and say random things.
Your right, I probably would have won the competition anyway. My cakes are the best. WE just gave all the other competitors a chance by missing it.
-(Setting: they're on a mission to take out a group of humans/scarlet crusade members.)
They're right over this hill devbot. Boy I sure am nervous about this baking competition.
-Its not a baking competition. Wrathion sent us to take out this camp quietly.
I know, but I've practice how to make the cake come out with just the right amount of puffyness. All you need to do is sift the flower before hand. Who'd have thought it was so simple!
-You've never made a meal in your life. How would you know how to bake?
quiet dev, one of the judges are here to welcome us
---Hey you two, who are you and why are you here?
We're here for the baking competition of course!
-There is no baking competition dave, You made that up.
---Omg, a talking robot and a taurren, Crap wrathions on to us...
*slash*(dave kills him quickly with his sword)
He seemed to be one of my competitors. Lets go see if everyone else has arrived yet.
:::Upon entering the camp they are surrounded:::
---So it seems wrathion found out about our little encampment. Your too late though, the dread lord is no longer here. Not that it matters, as you will be dead pretty soon anyway. Remember Men! theses two are extremely dangerous, but we have them outnumbered, so be careful as you take their heads
I dont know what your talking about dude, I'm just here for a baking contest, you have the wrong guy.
-Dave is right. Its not like Wrathion sent us here to take out this small camp and find information on the burning legions influence in this area.
---Holy crap, the robot really can talk. The rumors where true
-I cannot talk. I can only give pre-rendered replies to auditory ques. Including this reply to that statement.
---Dont let the robot confuse you, lets take them out!
*dave turns into a black dragon and burns all the soldiers to death*
Darn, its looks like we just missed the competition. I knew we shouldnt have stopped to recharge your batteries.
-We didnt stop dave, we flew strait here from the hideout.
Haha dev, you and your racist jokes
-I didnt tell a joke, you just ignore me and say random things.
Your right, I probably would have won the competition anyway. My cakes are the best. WE just gave all the other competitors a chance by missing it.
Thursday, February 19, 2015
A very Mysterious Mystery in WoW (machinama)
A very Mysterious Mystery in WoW (machinama)
So then I said, "Thats nacho cheese!" and you should have seen the look on his face.
-I do not get why being being rude to people is humorous
Of course you dont dev, thats because your a robot. Why do you always have be such a downer?
-I only say things that you have programed me to say, including this response to that question.
Hahaha classic devbot, you silly robot.
(hears noise)
Did you hear that?
-I do not have sensory functions to distinguish noises from one another, besides the pre-programed auditory ques you've supplied me with.
Thats right devbot, sounds like someone is in trouble. Lets go check it out!
-I wouldnt do that if I where you dave
(they run over to the house)
I think the screams came from this old house, but the door is locked. What should we do devbot?
-why are you asking me? We both know you have super strength. just break it down.
Thats right devbot, I sometimes forget I'm a warrior. Although I havent really seen any action since the 3rd war.
##breaks down door##
Oh my, it looks like we have a dead body, with a stab wound to the back. Quick devbot, scan the room and tell me what you can make of this situation!
-Working. Working. (after a delay) It turns out The only programing I have is to respond to your auditory ques. And the knowlege that the government is actually run by lizard people.
Yes I was thinking the same thing devbot, it seems who ever killed her, did so with a stab to the back and either escaped through the window or door. But considering we got here almost immediately, it seems odd that both the door was closed and lock, and the window doesnt seem to have been opened. And to make matters even more confusing, it seems the weapon is no where in sight.
-Maybe we should ask the people nearby if they saw anything.
Good idea devbot, I was just about to suggest that myself
(upon walking outside they run into someone)
-A guy- I heard a scream, is everything ok?
It appears we have a mystery on our hands. This woman inside was stabbed in the back and the perpetrator seems to have escaped!
-guy- omg, you have blood on your sword. I'm.. I'm going to go contact the stormwind guard!
(slash)
oops, looks like I forgot to wipe that off
-why did you kill that girl dave?
Haha, crazy devbot, you and your silly jokes. We should probably see if there are any more witnesses. You go off in that direction, and I'll go check in the opposite direction. I'm still not quite use to being an agent of the black prince. I guess there's a reason most of them are rogues.
-Jet fuel can't melt steel beams dave.
(they run off)
---Notes---
Dave can be a taurren warrior
Devot can be one of my battlepets, like lil'bling or clockworkgnome.
This will be part 1 of a series of "Mysteries" where dave and his robot go out on assassination missions while pretending that they are solving different cases. At first I wanted them to work for the SI:7 agents since they are probably the most well known from hearthstone rouge decks, but After reading up what they actually do, they're more like the CIA and not really a group of assasins. Not to say the Real CIA doesn't actually do assignations, but I thought it would easier to go with Wrathion instead, as that guy's story is 1: pretty well known and 2: he is also a shady character who would totally be up for assignations. Which would allow me a ton of freedom on where the stories can take place since wrathion has a very global view of the story since hes trying to protect the earth from a burning legion invasion and went into a total "Littlefinger" character during mists.
As for the characters themselves. Dave the warrior assassin, will be like a marry sue at first and able to pull off all kinds of things a warrior shouldn't be able to do. All while pretending to be a mystery solver with his sidekick robot. Now for the robot, I want him to seem to understand whats actually going on in the story, while at the same time putting in nonsese lines to remind the viewers that he is indeed just an advance version of siri. I also dont have plans to make the robot do anything special but who knows, things might change down the line.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Wow Closed Door Mystery Opener
Wow Mystery
So then I said, "Thats not my automobile, And shes a lying bitch!"
-I do not get why being being rude to people is humorous
Of course you dont dev, that's because your a robot. Why do you always have be such a downer?
-I only say things that you have programed me to say, including this response to that question.
Hahaha classic devbot, you silly drunk.
(hears noise)
Did you hear that?
-I do not have sensory functions to distinguish noises from one another, besides the per-programed auditory ques your supplied me with
Thats right devbot, sounds like someone is in trouble. Lets go check it out
-I wouldn't do that if I where you dave
(they run over to the house)
Oi, whats wrong
;;I think Erik is dead, but I dont know how its possible, the door was locked. and, and, I have to find the others to see if they're ok
(she runs off)
Oh devbot, this looks like the setup for something interesting. What do you think happened?
-I'd give you advice, but you wouldn't listen. No one ever does.
Your right, we should go check it out and see if we can give them a hand
So then I said, "Thats not my automobile, And shes a lying bitch!"
-I do not get why being being rude to people is humorous
Of course you dont dev, that's because your a robot. Why do you always have be such a downer?
-I only say things that you have programed me to say, including this response to that question.
Hahaha classic devbot, you silly drunk.
(hears noise)
Did you hear that?
-I do not have sensory functions to distinguish noises from one another, besides the per-programed auditory ques your supplied me with
Thats right devbot, sounds like someone is in trouble. Lets go check it out
-I wouldn't do that if I where you dave
(they run over to the house)
Oi, whats wrong
;;I think Erik is dead, but I dont know how its possible, the door was locked. and, and, I have to find the others to see if they're ok
(she runs off)
Oh devbot, this looks like the setup for something interesting. What do you think happened?
-I'd give you advice, but you wouldn't listen. No one ever does.
Your right, we should go check it out and see if we can give them a hand
Monday, October 6, 2014
Option 4-1 - Change the weather to something a little warmer
Change the weather to something a little warmer
"This is a little cold, I'd rather stand on the surface of the sun" I say, and in the next instant we are standing on the sun. I'm completely unphased by the heat, but the scarecrow is on fire now, screaming. He waves his arms and we're back in the white room with all the crosses.
He rolls around the inch of water on the floor to put himself out and laughs "Just because you figured out the secret to this dimension doesnt mean you can escape, or even beat me. I'm able to do everything you do but better." he says, as he materializes a gun out of thin air and fires a shot at me
"No I think we're done here" i say, and the bullet stops in mid air.
I'm going to make a bomb now, one so big that it destroys space and time itself. You can't Stop anything I make, only control things in here as well as I can. If you could, you could just think me out of exsitance, but you can't. I can affect you however and I'd like it if you stopped moving around so much.
Its then that the scarecrow stops moving and just stares at me as a white orb as big as a planet appears above the room.
"You'll kill us both" He says
"I actually dont really mind dying" I say, as I set off the bomb.
I then wake up in a mangled body with a large piece of stone on top of where my legs use to be.
"I guess thats why I had really strong legs" I say, as I go back to sleep and wait to be rescued.
The end
"This is a little cold, I'd rather stand on the surface of the sun" I say, and in the next instant we are standing on the sun. I'm completely unphased by the heat, but the scarecrow is on fire now, screaming. He waves his arms and we're back in the white room with all the crosses.
He rolls around the inch of water on the floor to put himself out and laughs "Just because you figured out the secret to this dimension doesnt mean you can escape, or even beat me. I'm able to do everything you do but better." he says, as he materializes a gun out of thin air and fires a shot at me
"No I think we're done here" i say, and the bullet stops in mid air.
I'm going to make a bomb now, one so big that it destroys space and time itself. You can't Stop anything I make, only control things in here as well as I can. If you could, you could just think me out of exsitance, but you can't. I can affect you however and I'd like it if you stopped moving around so much.
Its then that the scarecrow stops moving and just stares at me as a white orb as big as a planet appears above the room.
"You'll kill us both" He says
"I actually dont really mind dying" I say, as I set off the bomb.
I then wake up in a mangled body with a large piece of stone on top of where my legs use to be.
"I guess thats why I had really strong legs" I say, as I go back to sleep and wait to be rescued.
The end
Option 3-2 - Call him ugly
Call him ugly
"Hey scarecrow, if you have magical powers n shit why did you make yourself so ugly?"
The scarecrow was obviously puzzled by my interruption and stopped in his tracks to think of a retort as I kicked into the floor and kicked him from 20 yards away.
He was quick to react and threw his arms up to block the kick, but broke both of his arms in the process and went flying. I landed, ran to where he was about to land and prepared a second kick that he could not block when the room changed and we were now in the middle of a desert.
"you cannot kill me" the scarecrow says, now suddenly 50 feet tall and no longer injured
"I control this little space completely I am a god in this world and you are my play toy"
"Well if your a god then why was I able to kick your ass?" I say matter of factly. To be honest I was not expecting this to happen and a feeling of hopelessness cross over my whole body. I'm going to die here and there's nothing I can do about it.
"Well, um, thats because your different, I think. thats actually a good question..."
The thing says, looking a little confused himself.
Ahh, I think I get it now.
"Hey scarecrow, ever here of Solipsism? Its the philosophical idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. Metaphysical solipsism is Based on a philosophy of subjective idealism, metaphysical solipsists maintain that the self is the only existing reality and that all other reality, including the external world and other persons, are representations of that self, and have no independent existence. In essence, you dont really exsist and everything thats happening is just my thoughts being projected into what I preceve as the real world."
"that doesnt make any sesne" the scarecrow says "I exist, I'm right here, you can't deny my exsitance". "I punched you in the face and knocked out some of your teeth, you felt that didn't you"
"Correct, I did feel that, but external senses do not prove anything. The 5 senses can be controlled or altered by various means under normal circumstances. If i were to go flying in a dream, That doesnt mean i can actually fly, even though I felt everything associated to that action"
For some reason, going on my pretentious philosophical rant bothers the scarecrow. Maybe I'm on to something
"Scarecrow, I want you to be 5 feet tall now"
In an instant the scarecrow was 5 feet tall, and scared.
"No! you can't do this!"
he screams, with desperation in his voice. With a flick of his arm we are now standing in an artic climate, in the middle of a pretty heavy snow storm.
1.) Change the weather to something a little warmer
2.) Challenge the scarecrow to a dance off.
"Hey scarecrow, if you have magical powers n shit why did you make yourself so ugly?"
The scarecrow was obviously puzzled by my interruption and stopped in his tracks to think of a retort as I kicked into the floor and kicked him from 20 yards away.
He was quick to react and threw his arms up to block the kick, but broke both of his arms in the process and went flying. I landed, ran to where he was about to land and prepared a second kick that he could not block when the room changed and we were now in the middle of a desert.
"you cannot kill me" the scarecrow says, now suddenly 50 feet tall and no longer injured
"I control this little space completely I am a god in this world and you are my play toy"
"Well if your a god then why was I able to kick your ass?" I say matter of factly. To be honest I was not expecting this to happen and a feeling of hopelessness cross over my whole body. I'm going to die here and there's nothing I can do about it.
"Well, um, thats because your different, I think. thats actually a good question..."
The thing says, looking a little confused himself.
Ahh, I think I get it now.
"Hey scarecrow, ever here of Solipsism? Its the philosophical idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. Metaphysical solipsism is Based on a philosophy of subjective idealism, metaphysical solipsists maintain that the self is the only existing reality and that all other reality, including the external world and other persons, are representations of that self, and have no independent existence. In essence, you dont really exsist and everything thats happening is just my thoughts being projected into what I preceve as the real world."
"that doesnt make any sesne" the scarecrow says "I exist, I'm right here, you can't deny my exsitance". "I punched you in the face and knocked out some of your teeth, you felt that didn't you"
"Correct, I did feel that, but external senses do not prove anything. The 5 senses can be controlled or altered by various means under normal circumstances. If i were to go flying in a dream, That doesnt mean i can actually fly, even though I felt everything associated to that action"
For some reason, going on my pretentious philosophical rant bothers the scarecrow. Maybe I'm on to something
"Scarecrow, I want you to be 5 feet tall now"
In an instant the scarecrow was 5 feet tall, and scared.
"No! you can't do this!"
he screams, with desperation in his voice. With a flick of his arm we are now standing in an artic climate, in the middle of a pretty heavy snow storm.
1.) Change the weather to something a little warmer
2.) Challenge the scarecrow to a dance off.
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